Alternate
by End Noesis
Summary: Love is strange, siblings are worse. All you can do is play along and wait for the right moment - if it ever comes along.
1. Despair and Dragons

"Birthday-ruiner!"

My young mistress was quietly brooding on her seventeenth birthday about unreturned calls from friends. I reminded her earlier that night that she would have at least a hundred more, possibly even ten centuries of life. Birthdays would one day become insignificant. Time would not be an unbreakable chain, whose links grew heavier as she pulled it behind her in a human existence. She needed not to believe in heaven or hell, or fear any ends. The universe was for her making and unmaking, wrinkling and smoothing out the grand fabric that made stars out of space dust in its vast darkness, from the dust that all life arose from.

"_That sounds… wonderful, Yue,"_ she had replied. It had not been enough. Sakura decided to take a bath in the middle of the night as if to rinse off the pang of my words, which clung to her shifting thoughts of people to future and to the _now_.

Were my words spiked, fanged or razor-edged with a mysterious malice that manifested in others' ears? Raw honesty was a virtue nobody appreciated.

""Just get her a card!" Kero hissed, motioning at his own paw-drawn version of one on a crisp sheet of white construction paper.

"Keroberos, what is this?"

He jumped onto his little hind legs, stubby and golden, screaming vehemently. "It's you! Can't you recognize your own ugly mean look?"

I looked at it once more, as an earlier casual glance missed the haggard wings and my shoddy armor. Other things were alarmingly amiss. "This card is terrible. You drew me cross-eyed and this isn't even the right blue. I hope it's only your first attempt." Those sentences were unarguably teethed.

He lifted the card to my face, scratched his nonexistent beard, as if he were some renaissance painter plotting his next stroke. "Looks one-hundred-and-fifty percent right to me!" Keroberos laughed, holding his tiny rotund belly, no doubt filled with over-processed foods.

"You're not supposed to laugh at your own jokes, you nitwit." I lifted a clean sheet of paper only to crumple it into a tight ball and smacked him in face with such artful precision. His laughter stopped and his front paws turned into fists. "Good, you've returned to your senses. I was afraid you were going to pop a seam. Your girlfriend Tomoyo isn't here to mend your polyester hide."

Fists shook and a vein protruded from Keroberos' forehead, containing a fiery intensity. The sun burned through his glower at me. "If you're not going to draw something, then you better get her something."

"Let Yukito take care of it when he's done with his thesis," was my retort. Yukito was on his way to earning another degree. My nights were short due to these things humans called college education. I was exhausted and yet here I was, two hours past midnight, spending my limited life on artistic critiques and mastering teenage psychology on my own.

Kero transformed into his true form, a magnificent golden lion, whose beauty was only surpassed by its weight, every massive pound swiftly felt upon my chest.

I hastily agreed to something.

It was a dangerous agreement made in a desperate moment. With incisors pressing against my throat and a raspy tongue lolled on my neck onto my shoulder, I might have agreed to worse.

_Worse - could it even be possible?_

I agreed to take Sakura Kinomoto on a date.

_A date._

Death would have been the wiser choice in hindsight.

* * *

I paced in the bedroom, cursing under my breath.

"Is it too late for me to die?"

"Only by me. You are welcome to die of humiliation at any time, brother." On the desk, the sun guardian twisted the orange tip of a bottle of paste and traced the edge of his card to form a milky frame. He jumped into his drawer, rummaging through the many items he impressively contained in the small space. An "Ahah!" and a reappearance with a small shaker filled with gold and silver glitter. He cracked his knuckles and his neck, in the manner that one would imagine a stuffed animal to do so, before vigorously shaking the glitter onto his artwork. It covered the card and much of the desk table with a textured metallic coat. Kero looked at his piece again, making mental notes. His head whipped to where I stood by the windowsill mid-pace to take in his amusing concentration. "Why don't you go pace elsewhere? You're ruining the chi in here. I can't finish with your depressing aura; its stink is scaring away inspiration."

"How am I-?" A buzzing sound interrupted. Our keen ears followed it to the pillow on the bed as it gently shook. We exchanged looks. "I believe she'll be fine on her own."

Kero wings flitted in the air, and he swooped under the pillow to retrieve the source of the vibration. "Idiot, it's her phone," he said, pulling out the small rectangular device into view. On the screen flashed two notifications: '28 New Text Messages. 5 Missed Calls.'

"She left it on silent for class. She must of forgot to turn on the volume afterward." He pawed at the screen, unsuccessfully making much of its digital contents. "It's touchscreen, so I need you to slide across down here. My paws aren't sensitive enough for this."

My index finger grazed the bottom of the screen, where 'slide to unlock' command glimmered. The gesture revealed a home screen with twenty small, colorful squares.

"Touch the one that says 'Messages,'" Kero instructed.

"Should we even be doing this?"

"Don't you want to cheer her up?"

I followed his instructions. 'Syaoran,' 'Tomoyo,' 'Touya,' 'Yukito,' and several other names appeared. Out of curiosity, I tapped the first, 'Syaoran,' and eighteen text lines appeared on the screen. Each message, was held captive in small shadowed white bubbles:

12:00AM – Happy birthday, Sakura! In honor of your 17th year alive - 17 short confessions. You always tell me to express myself more. The 1st: You're beautiful.

12:01AM – Nobody can make people feel as special as you can.

12:02AM – School and the drudgery of classwork was only bearable when I had you to look at.

12:03AM – You're braver and stronger than you look and than you think.

12:04AM – You're also more amazing than you could ever imagine.

12:05AM – I'm lucky to know you, to call you my friend.

12:06AM – You're a better magician than I ever was.

12:07AM – Also a more skilled skater, and video-gamer, among many other things.

12:08AM – Your smile lights up the world, brighter than any of your cards.

12:09AM – You look great in anything, no matter how poofy or colorful the latest Tomoyo couture wear is.

12:10AM – Even when you look like a pink cupcake, you're still cute. I'm very fond of cupcakes.

12:11AM – I don't regret our early spats, because I look back now and laugh at how red your face would get and how stupid I acted.

12:12AM – Then I remember your laugh, how it filled a room with its beautiful energy.

12:13AM – You're the most interesting person I know.

12:14AM – And I wish I can keep learning more about you, so you continue to feel close to me when you're many miles away.

12:15AM – I think about you a lot. The memories of us in Tomoeda are too few and bittersweet. They leave me wanting more, and envying those around you, hoping they know the privilege to be near your starlight.

12:16AM – I miss you more every day.

12:17AM – I'm coming to see you soon… to tell you the 17th message in person.

12:25AM – Call me back when you can.

Kero's eyes skimmed each conversation bubble with fervor that matched mine. "That twerp. Is that the best he can do?" He paced around the phone, the newly acquired fiend in the room. It began buzzing once more with a villainous intensity, greater now in the bare fluorescent light. "We're gonna have to turn the volume back on, but we can buy us some time by not doing it until tomorrow morning. And you're gonna have to ask her out _now_. It's not a great plan, but it's all I got."

"I have seventeen reasons not to follow through," I said.

Kero puffed his chest and positioned his fists in my face, shifting his weight in the air like a miniature boxer. "I have _two_ right here that say otherwise." I waved the small menace away. "Besides, you're here now and he's not."

True, Syaoran wasn't here, but he would be sooner or later.

I felt a hint of remorse form in the pit of my stomach for the teenage boy my brother openly despised. Touya had expressed concern on several occasions to Yukito about the growing affection between his little green-eyed monster and the brat that threatened to take her away from him.

I only held indifference at the thought. Even when he sought the Clow Cards for himself, Syaoran never posed a real danger. As long as either Sakura and he contained the awkwardness that seemed to arise whenever in my presence, I was unperturbed by their union.

Most of my actions were motivated by two fundamental needs: to protect my little mistress and self-preservation.

My savior was an unlikely prince for the both of us.


	2. Battles and Bubbles

"You could have agreed to a Hallmark card, if you were too proud to make one, or a box of cheap candy from the drugstore around the corner, but you had to blurt out _date_," Kero snapped. "I've been your brother long enough, to know damn well your little answer wasn't random at all. You probably dream about what it would be like… _being with_ _her_." His eyes narrowed and his forelimbs crossed over his chest.

In actuality, I meant to request a private meeting, one without any romantic connotation. For years we shared the space with our respective brothers, never quite getting to know each other for who we were beyond our roles. Kero was the perceived safest pathway to me, and Touya was mine, with every visit as an excuse to provide evidence of her well-being. Neither one of us dared to approach the other directly without the buffer of necessity. "You assume so much from so little. I'm-"

"I'm not done!" Kero said. "It's nice being around her but you already know that. You wouldn't be here, the night_ right_ before her birthday, as a coincidence. You're too smart for that. It's a shame you're stupid where it counts." He punched the region of my chest plate where my heart thumped back. "I feel bad for you, 'cause you don't get to see her the same way I do."

Twisting the mundane into melodrama was one of many Kero's aggravating talents.

"I see her just fine. And could you lower your voice?"

His limbs flailed. "Nobody's home!"

"She's right down the hallway and she's not deaf."

"I'm very disappointed in you." Kero shook his round plush head, appearing as despondent as possible.

"Said the guardian who proposed to withhold information from our Mistress." On countless episodes of tantrums or general laziness I had saved him from punishment. There were fireball incidents that thrice threatened to burn down the home we all once shared in the times of Clow Reed, all brought upon by disputes over card jurisdiction. Watery on my side, I quenched each fire with disproportionate force to infuriate him further. In more recent times, his temper scorched a region of the kitchen now, in a poorly executed attempt at defrosting half a chicken for dinner in record time. I patched up the wall with spare wallpaper and scrubbed the soot-stained countertop until he would reappear from his hiding place. I covered on his behalf because it was my obligation as a brother, but in the current circumstances, I questioned the consequences_, _and whether this would reflect poorly on my guardian duties.

"I've seen the way she looks at you. It disgusts me to be honest. Your longing looks at the moon, the whole mysterious heartbroken guardian bit." He rolled his eyes. "It's surprisingly effective. The other day she asked me if you and Yukito shared the same heart."

They talked about me in my absence, incomplete conversations without their subject present, where she might fixate on the wrong ideas thanks to my brother's assumptions. "Why?"

"She is jealous of Touya, has been for a while, but not for the same reason as before. You owe him your life and she's afraid his sacrifice won you over. She doesn't want to lose both halves to him."

"It was for Yukito's sake, not mine. I promised Touya I would always protect her, so she needn't worry about my allegiance."

"I swear it's like I'm talking to a wall." He rubbed his temples, fighting off the beginning of a migraine. At the rate of our verbal clashing, we would be at each other physically by the end of the night or the beginning of dawn. "This was the opportunity that I couldn't hold over your head because it was under the false threat of your life."

"I know what you meant." _Did I?_ In the old days, we sparred with spectral enemies produced by Master Reed to test our magical defenses. Keroberos took blow after another to spare me the agony of losing. He understood my ego was not as resilient as his lion one. Brushing off each loss like dust in the wind, he matched them in fiery roars. Lions acted first, and then dealt with the aftermath with distinctive brazenness. Firey and Shot would only follow him for his wild spontaneity, as Watery and Snow would align with my cool temperament. "She has enough people who love her, so why does it matter if I do or don't?"

"Because you care about her. It's been years and you still try to play so cold as if someone is going to hold your growing adoration for her against you. You're subtle in your little acts of kindness but they're _there_." He was a Shield, he was always full of Fight, and he could always get Through to me.

"You may be my brother, but you don't know me half as well as you think you do." I had Shadow and Illusion on my side to keep me safe.

"No? Then what was Yukito doing yesterday on his lunch break for you? Yeah, asshole, don't think you can lie to me. He ran into Tomoyo at the department store. He was shopping for what, um, a pair of cat's eye stone and seraphine earrings? You have an exquisite taste in gems. I would have just said emeralds."

"_Seraphinite_," I corrected. The stone varied in colors but I had asked for a dark green with a feathered pattern, and the cat's eye apatite to be green as well. The Seraphinite was a fragile but attractive stone and along with its silvery winged imprints, it reminded me of her. The cat's eye apatite would remind her of me with its chatoyance, feline pupils embedded in the lovely gemstone. Unfortunately, the search for such unique jewelry was in vain. Likewise in vain, I had chosen to gift her with something that would undoubtedly make her think of me every time she caught a glimpse of herself in a reflection, where she would find a pair of cat eyes glinting back at her flawless green ones, not that of emerald but a gem much more precious and nonexistent.

_"My other self has a specific item in mind," Yukito had said. "I can't get him to consider alternatives."_

_"Oh?" Tomoyo smiled as she twisted the tail of her long side braid. "I know how he feels. It's tough being a perfectionist. I'm making Sakura a dress for her birthday and I'm stuck on the lace pattern. I can't find the right one, you know?"_

_"She'll love it regardless, because it's from you."_

_"I know she will," Tomoyo said. "Just as she'll love whatever you two finally agree on."_

We mentally disputed over a pair of emerald stud earrings. They were tragically ordinary, in my opinion. He was bold to call them _classic_. In the end, we left with nothing. Yukito promised to find the little shop right outside of town that might carry the stones I had in mind, but the day went and night came. I mentally dozed off, while he worked on a forty-page paper on dissociative identity disorders. I knew enough not to be intellectually stimulated by contemporary psychology theories. "I didn't get her anything," I shot back at my brother.

Kero yawned on the bed he shared with the phone and a box of old crayons. His project was still a work in progress. "And here we are in this conundrum because you're so damn picky." He closed his eyes and grabbed the first crayon his paw fell upon: yellow.

In the past few hours, I was only ascertained of my inability to hide the truth and to frivolously waste time as much as Keroberos. "I'm going to go and tell her about the messages."

"So obedient. Maybe you'll get a little treat." He threw the dull yellow stick at me. "Fetch, boy!"

I maneuvered out of the way with ease. "If I knew better, I'd say you're envious of me."

"It doesn't take much to be a stuck-up boring jerk like you, Yue, so don't flatter yourself."

"Hmph. Because I'm full of kind acts, as you claim, I'll let you share these messages. She'll be grateful for it, and like you even more over me." I had his interest. In the past, he savored having the upper hand, such situations were rare. He blamed it on Clow Reed's bias toward me, produced of his own jealousy. "I'll even consider doing your chores. I'm feeling rather generous tonight." My brother's face showed him mulling over the options. He hated dusting the house but it was the only chore he was capable of performing without substantial damage, other than cleaning out the desk. Both tasks he would spend an entire afternoon on when procrastination was at its minimal.

"Fine. But you're going with me, so I can rub it in your face."

"Fair enough," I said. "Bring the phone."

Kero grabbed the device and fluttered onto the hallway, with me close behind. We stood outside the bathroom door, and Kero called out, "Sakura! Can we talk to you?"

"Sure, you guys can come right in."

I turned the door knob slowly and let the door squeak open to reveal my Mistress in the bathtub. At one end, her head peeked from above frothy bubbles, her short hair held up by red elastic bands in two clumsy pigtails. At the other end, Bubbles, splashed and flapped her fishtail. Pink foam and bubbles generously covered them both. Their matching soap crowns were of the same rosy shade.

"It looks like mermaid water, and it smells divine." Sakura cupped a bit of water in her hands and demonstrated its magic-infused shimmer which possessed a prismatic quality, colors flowing and melding into each other. The light in the bathroom refracted in the water to give the impression of starfish beneath the whimsy pink fluff. Bubbles was one of the first Sakura cards to evolve her ability, as she was so taken with her Mistress' fascination and appreciation of it. Sakura had a knack for making each card feel important, no matter how small she was, or her initial purpose: cleaning dirty enchanted lioncubs.

Kero floated over the bathtub to take in the water for himself. "That's pretty cool, Bubbles." His paws slicked over the phone, shuffling the weight between them to maintain its hold, before it slipped free into the iridescent water beneath.

"Kero! Was that my phone?"

"I'm sorry! You know it's so hard to grip with these things."

"How peculiar," I said. "You don't have any problems holding onto to game controllers or donuts."

Our Mistress clawed out pink foam, tossing it aside like balls of cotton candy, to fish out the device out of the water. The screen flashed white a few times before shutting off. "Oh no! The screen... It's gonna take me days to dry this out and who knows if it'll work. Kero!"

Kero growled. "I don't just play video games and eat all day, you know! I have other hobbies."

"Watching recordings of yourself and making messes don't count," I said.

"Did you see any messages?" She tapped the phone against the side of the bathtub to no avail.

"Yeah. All your friends sent you happy birthday texts–you didn't notice 'cause you had it on vibrate again. Tomoyo, Yuki, and your brother are coming over for dinner tomorrow."

"Ugh! I can't believe I forgot. Anything else?"

A cruel light bulb flashed in Kero's perverse mind to produce an unforgivable inquiry. "Yue, weren't you going to ask her something important?"

"No." I had lost this battle even before I knew I was part of it.

"Ever so shy… Yue wants to take you out, isn't that right?"

I grabbed his plush body and held his mouth shut.

Sakura's face lit up. "Really? You'd hang out with me?" She disassembled her bubbly crown and undid the red ties in her hair. Her mousy brown strands were tangled, likely had not seen the bristled side of a brush in two days at most. She was accustomed to a much shorter length but she'd missed more than a few trimming appointments in the past few months. In its matted mess, it grazed the base of her slender neck. "We never get to spend any time together. I'd really like that."

"You would?" Somebody aside from my own brother welcomed my companionship, perhaps would be even more appreciate of it.

"Of course," she said. "As long as this isn't some April Fool's joke… is it?"

A well-placed bite loosened my hands from the little guardian. "Yue doesn't have a sense of humor," Kero replied.

"I'd love to then!"

Kero zoomed out of my hold completely and out the door. "Going to bed. Tired. G'night!"

Bubbles yawned and returned to her card form, leaving behind ordinary monochromatic bathwater and pale suds.

We were alone together to converse, as I had wished for many times.

"Is Sunday all right? I'd imagine you'd want to spend some time with your friends first." I would see her again soon, as Yukito, sharing her company with far too many dinner guests. I preferred a more intimate meeting as my true self. I now anticipated it with unclear excitement.

She began working through her auburn tangles with her fingers. "Yes. That works for me."

"8:00 PM, I'll pick you up."

"It's a _date_." Her sweet designation for it, whatever it really was, made me smile. The absurdity of it all, acknowledged by her as well. Neither of us needed to be troubled by the juvenile implications.

"It's almost three in the morning," I reminded, "you should get some rest."

"I know. I'll finish up right away. I'll meet you in the room soon."

I nodded and closed the door as I exited. Every footstep returning to the bedroom increased my urge to strangle my brother. "A _word_, Kero."

Static noise from the pink electronic he held quieted. "Appointment with Tomoyo at noon tomorrow, Prince Charming. Confirmed via walkie-talkie. You're getting new threads."

"Kero. _Why_?"

"You're welcome." He kicked the crayons into their worn green box and placed them on the desk. "She'll forgive me by tomorrow, but I couldn't ever forgive myself for letting this opportunity pass us by."

"You have ample opportunities to torture me without involving her, or her friends."

"I'm doing this for you as much as for my own entertainment." He looked up to give me a wicked grin as he lazily kicked about paper pieces, pencil shavings, and other art-produced messes into the desk-adjacent wastebasket. "You'll thank me later."

"Earlier you were huffing and puffing around like a bloated dragon, but now I'm certain you're more like an evil non-step brother, relishing every evil deed for your own amusement."

"I like to think myself more of a fairy godfather." He threw an open container of glitter at me, and it covered me like a malevolent fairy dust. "My fairy partner and I are gonna bring your fashion to the 21st century. So get your beauty sleep, and _maybe_ your perpetually constipated look will improve."

He shut himself in his drawer before I could wring my hands around his neck. Kero's muffled laughter ringed in the room. The clock flashed a crimson 3:15 nearby. It was far too late to continue the fight. I pulled out the thin mattress from under Sakura's bed, and curled up on it.

It was going to be a very long weekend, and it had only just begun. I was half-asleep when I heard the soft crinkling of paper. I opened an eye to see our Mistress analyzing the birthday card crafted by my brother, now complete. There was a pair of roughly drawn guardians on the cover and a handwritten message inside. I hadn't bother to read it for myself, as I never made it past the ridiculous cover. The contents of the message were to remain a mystery to me. My brother always had plenty to say. _What did he write about me, if anything?_ _Was there any inclusion of us as "we" along with "love" and "you?" _

She stifled her laughter, and set it down gently on the glue-and-glitter-splattered desk. She gently opened my brother's drawer, to lift the small doll bed with the sleeping sun guardian in it. A gentle kiss touched his forehead, as he continued his low snoring.

Our Mistress had forgiven him long before anger had a chance to set in.

He knew her better than I did. And he knew me well enough to plot his schemes with surprising finesse. He had a talent for improvisation, or was a master of premeditation. We were pawns in his game either way.

Sakura would not suspect any foul play in the room, or ever. She always gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, whether they earned it or not.

I would not accept failure. It was not in my nature, for I never learned how to gracefully yield. We would not be fighting for jurisdiction, we were long past those days. This fight was more personal.

I felt the heaviness of a thick comforter slip over me. I had curled up on my side, and perhaps it had given the impression of coldness. The room was indeed chill and I welcomed the downy warmth. A hand swept the hair away from my face. I could not see her as my eyes remained shut, feigning sleep, but I knew she kneeled over me considering her next decision. _Should she, or shouldn't she? _

Seconds passed by, and perhaps even a minute, before the light switch clicked off. She gently climbed her bed, and pulled her covers tight around her in a pink cocoon.

I resumed my slumber, and dreamt of the kiss that never was.

* * *

**A/N:** It's difficult for me to limit myself to 800-1,000 word updates, as I initially intended. I get a _little_ carried away.


	3. Silver and Gold

**A/N:** I'll clean this up when I get a chance. I'm a bit overwhelmed with life. Whew, was this a total b-word to write. And yes, I'm a Placebo fan, for anyone that gets that one reference thrown in there *^_^*

I changed back the title to "Alternate," and since I already wrote out a draft of the ending, it is the most appropriate.

* * *

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty! Wake up!"

My eyelids were heavy with fatigue when they batted open. Pupils constricted to restrict the daylight, to focus on my brother and my mistress watching me, evidently entertained by my state.

"Sleepy head, I can't believe I actually woke up earlier than you. You must really hate mornings!"

"Yukito." I yawned."Studying too much." I pulled the covers over me after noting the digital red numbers blink 9:03AM. Shortly after, two sets of forelimbs and a mouth full of pointy teeth peeled back the blissful blanket to expose me to the misery of a much too early Saturday morning. Scowling, I pulled back. "It's the weekend, and your birthday. Why aren't _you_ in bed?"

"I have to make an exception twice a year: Christmas and my birthday!" Her eyes narrowed. "Unless you're planning on surprising me with a batch of delicious chocolate and banana pancakes, just like the kind Touya and my dad makes me on my birthdays, Kero and I are gonna bounce off the walls until we run out of Skittles-fueled energy."

"It's 9:00AM, neither of you need any more sugar in your systems." A devious glance was exchanged, then followed by twin nods. Somewhere in Japan, unbeknownst to the rest of the world, a powerful sorceress and mistress of fifty-two powerful cards along with the beast of the seal and guardian of the morning star took it upon themselves to rouse their victim by hopping madly around him on a Saturday morning. The victim, also known as myself, grumbled beneath a cover that shielded me of the warming morning light but left me defenseless to the duo, "Don't make me drag you both down with me."

"Bring it, moon-boy!" the smallest of the pair dared.

The second one regained some common sense and quick-thinking. "You can't pick on the birthday kid. I have amnesty."

In a quick movement, I yanked the covers on which they stood, and brought them under. "All talk, huh?"

A small bump whispered something to the larger bump of his partner under the covers. "Hmm, interesting," she replied.

"What is?"

The larger of the bumps revealed her identity from under the covers. "Kero-chan has informed me of your weakness. I shall exploit it if not provided with not only one, but _two_, batches of banana and white chocolate-chip pecan pancakes."

"'Weakness'? I don't even know the meaning of the word."

A quick knowing look was shared between my two opponents, before they tackled me down mercilessly. I had underestimated her size, now at five-foot-seven –or-eight inches, and only threatening to stretch out further. Her brother and father's stature were genetic proof of a dominant trait that would turn Sakura as willowy. I frowned under the girl, who would one day, no longer need me to protect her. These days, I acted as a glorified babysitter; centuries of life experience spent imprudently on math and history tutoring.

I felt a hot, wet sensation beneath my chin, as her tongue dragged across my jawline. In the right setting, I would have taken it as an invitation to something else, but here and now, I only made a disgusted sound and shot up. In the process, I raised the girl clean off the bed, letting her bare feet dangle in the air. "Did you just…_lick_ me?" She grinned and stuck her violating pink tongue at me. "That's disgusting."

"I'll do it again, I swear." She made a point to try to lick the hands that held her up and I dropped her immediately to the bed.

"All right. Pancakes coming up." I was also a cook when coerced.

"Huzzah!" Kero cheered. They high-fived each other.

"Why are you so excited? You're helping me." I grabbed the growling sun guardian. "You," I said pointing to her and the bed, "stay there quietly and please don't lick anything in this room."

.O.

I placed the small bed table over her lap, heavy with fat pancakes and a sun guardian presenting freshly picked flowers from her father's garden. Sakura clapped and "wowed" at our efforts, prior to gathering the utensils and tasting the first botched cake.

"Yue, Kero, these are _so_ good! Have some."

I waved away the fork which held a second cake resembling scorched toast more than anything palatable. She was being unnecessarily unappreciative over the appalling breakfast my brother and I argued over downstairs only half an hour ago. "No, thank you."

"You're not even curious, as to how good they are?" She made a show of eating the second one, while Kero looked on wincing, and I watched suspiciously, waiting for her expression to shift into revulsion. "Mmmhh…" followed pleased moaning sounds, and soon enough only the fifth and final pancake remained on the plate - an overcooked, dry catastrophe.

"The sounds you make when you eat them are proof enough. If your brother was home, he'd be beating down this door-"

She shoved the fork with a quarter of a cake, weighty with nut pieces and partially-melted chocolate chips, into my mouth. "Good, right?"

I chewed and swallowed fearfully. "Not terrible." Kero sniffed around the remainders on the plate, prodding the last of three attempts of pancake batches. The first two were equally disfigured oblong lumps of dough, but also had the added misfortune of being dropped or burned to black.

"Next time, let me help you." Next to her, Kero hacked and reached for the cup of cold milk to pass the dry lump in his throat.

"Hmm," I replied, "I was hoping you'd never ask me to cook for you again."

My brother wiped his mouth on a daffodil head. "Me, too."

"If they're made with love, I'd eat a thousand more of these."

When she finished her last bite, I collected the dishes, and brought them down to the kitchen to rinse and place in the dishwasher. The house phone rang four times before the machine picked up. A young male, human voice replied to the robotic instructions, "Hello? Sakura, it's me. Syaoran. Happy-" I picked up the phone without a second thought. "Hello? _Hello?" _he asked, awaiting her reply.

.O.

"Over here," my brother grumbled in my arms, as he pointed to a secluded side of the large block containing the Daidouji residence.

I rolled up the sleeve of the uniform coat belonging to Touya and shuffled along in his oversized school shoes. "It was your brilliant idea to come by during broad daylight, knowing well she has the place secured by bodyguards."

"Minor delay, that's all." Kero pulled out his phone, another electronic gadget gifted to him by the girl. "Tomoyo? We're outside." He flew to the top of wall to evaluate the situation. "Uh-huh, ok. Ok." He hung up. "The guards are on the other end, we have about forty-five seconds." He flew over, vanishing behind the wall. "Starting…_ now_!"

I formed my wings and ascended, following Kero to the hazel tree near what I assumed was her window. A dark-haired girl in a knee-length white dress stepped out into the veranda and sung sweetly, _"Shiver and quiver, my little tree, silver and gold throw down over me*_." A white sparrow tweeted nearby on another branch. On cue, we followed the girl indoors.

She beamed at her unusual guests. "Welcome! Sorry for the complications." My brother made himself home, toying with the many expensive trinkets in the room. The expansive room equated the size of the Kinomoto house. Its sole resident, a wisp of a girl, was dwarfed by the lavish items it accommodated. Antique and imported furniture, marbled and exquisitely engraved or adorned countertops and walls, paintings by dead artists and a few modern one I suspected were water colors created in bold slicks and set in very room we stood in. The young artist noticed my speculation of her work as she quietly looked me over. "You're wearing Touya's old school uniform. It looks good on you, even if it's a little long… and it's not a school day."

There was a knock at the door. She opened it partly to only reveal herself. A servant presented a polished tray of goods. "Miss Daidouji, your three teas, and strawberry mousse cake… and two spoons..." The statement's intonation rose at the end, almost as a question.

Tomoyo cheerfully replied, "Thank you, Annie, I'll take it from here." She snatched the tray away and closed the heavy ornate wooden door with her hip, before Annie could politely refuse her aid. Our host eased the tray over the marbled surface of a coffee table in the middle of the room.

"You didn't have to bother. I don't eat," I said. "Your servants must think you strange for your specificity in such requests. Defeats the purpose of secret meetings, if they're already aware of uninvited guests."

"Aren't all rich kids a little eccentric anyway?" She laughed. "They'd be a little relieved to know their boss's daughter has a boy in her room, but talking to myself is better than having to explain to my mother your presence." Holding the strawberry cake she twirled gracefully, undoing the pleats of her ivory dress, to my brother.

Kero sniffed the air and squealed at the sight of the pink concoction. "Tomoyo! For me?" She nodded. "Yay!" In one nimble swoop, he was on the cake, taking bites larger than his head.

"Spoon, Kero, spoon!" Tomoyo set down the cake to offer the utensil. He devoured the last of the strawberry whipped fluff and burped. I grabbed the second spoon and clocked him over his head.

"Hey! What's wrong with you? You said you didn't want any."

I looked over to our gracious host, who would have to settle for two teas. Tomoyo giggled, tossing the other spoon on the tray, letting silver clang against silver. "That's all right. I'm saving my sweet tooth for birthday cake." She sipped her teacup, and Kero joined finishing his first and making a gesture for the second before I halted him. "Speaking of birthdays, let's get started!"

Kero slurped the last of his drink in agreement. Tomoyo led us to a part of the grand room, separated by an eight-paneled divider with cherry blossoms imprinted on the silk screens. A careful eye could see the glint of silver and gold that wove into the delicate fabric. Behind the panels, on the other side, photographs of Sakura in a multitude of poses and cardcaptor costumes were pinned against it. Kero fluttered by to the other contents hidden by the fragile flower wall. There were seven faceless mannequins standing in an array of human-like frozen postures, looking sleek and refined in seven distinct ensembles. I walked around them, scrutinizing each doll, nameless save for a number on the heads; nonetheless feeling drab in my baggy hand-me-downs. "You made these?"

"My mother has designer friends who I intern for during the summer and winter school breaks. I told them my boyfriend needed some clothes for a special anniversary evening. I didn't want my mother to find out I was seeing somebody." She winked.

"Tomoyo is a master at tall tales," Kero said.

"They're only half-truths ribboned with what people want to hear. Presents for the gullible." She giggled, covering her mouth as if to contain the tinkling sounds of her small bell-like laughter. "I didn't know your exact sizing but I can make alterations very quickly. As payment, I only request you let me make you a Tomoyo original one day!"

"I like blue," I said, walking around number one, who wore a pair of navy blue slacks, matching vest, and a long sleeved button-up pin-striped storm gray shirt.

Kero snorted his disapproval. "No, no, no! You have to try on all the outfits."

"Kero-chan is right, Yue. We know you'll just end up picking number one anyway, but humor us. You will look so cute in Two. In the fitted black shirt and charcoal trousers. I picked a blue scarf that reminds me of your eyes, it has a bit of reflective quality like your cat eyes at night." She pulled my jacket off, and began to unbutton the uniform shirt. "Please?" Her eyes sparkled with hopefulness, and I gave in.

I was suckered into modeling clothes by a pathological sweet talker and an accomplice. They were interchangeable as they moved from one mannequin, robbing it of the clothes on its hollowed plastic back, and tossed them to me, then to the next numbered doll.

Kero fluttered over to number three. A black leather motorcycle jacket, straight dark jeans, and vintage rock band T-shirt. "This one! Throw on some shades and you're set!"

I groaned.

The more sensible of the team, countered with number four. "I know it's out of your comfort zone, so maybe we should ease you into fashion. How about this one?" She pointed to the mannequin wearing a light cream-wool-cotton blend coat, tan cashmere V-neck sweater, and simple white undershirt that likely was more expensive than any item in Yukito's closet. A pair of light brown pants completed the outfit.

"No."

Kero moved onto to five, a pin-striped silver fitted suit with a lavender shirt and tie.

"Overkill." Four images of me grimaced back and threw off the jacket. Four Tomoyos reached up to loosen the tie around my neck.

"Something a little more conservative." Six: Royal blue flat-front chinos, half-sleeve dark blue and black glenplaid pattern on a pale gray backdrop.

"For another time, maybe," I replied. I needed something more formal.

Seven. Maroon suede straight pants. Light blue military-styled tunic with a round-eyelet collar, gold tassels on shoulders, gold belt and a loose chain linking across my chest to hooks on tailored shoulders. I looked in the four-angled mirrors, each capturing my princely reflection. It was a fitting ensemble for an 18th century ball.

"It's perfect." Their eyes widened incredulously, before I continued, "If I was arriving in a pumpkin carriage pulled by enchanted rats."

"But you would look soooo cute!" Her violet eyes shone with precarious insanity. I was two half-truths away from leaving with Seven.

"The first choice," I said, "in blue, as it was decided two hours ago." I tried it on again and let her pin the pant legs to my length and bring in the waist as well. My stylists whispered inaudibly to each other. "Well?"

My brother spoke for the both. "You need shoes, Cinderella."

I looked down at my bare feet, and then at hers. Even indoors she wore a pair of white leather flats with tiny pearls lining the edges.

"Yukito has shoes."

Tomoyo inquired, "What kind of shoes? Dress, running, walking, school, dancing, soccer, cowboy, snow-"

"Dress."

"Color? Brown, black, navy, gray-"

"Does it matter?"

She gasped in shock. Kero fanned her face with his wings. "I'm okay. I promised I would not to let your lack of fashion insight upset me. I won't. Just go with a pair of black dress shoes and you'll be okay." Cocking her head, she began playing with a wavy black lock and twisting it around with her index fingers. Fingers snapped. "What about hair?"

I adjusted the buttons on Touya's sky blue jacket and rolled up the sleeves to my elbows. "What about it?"

She picked up a tan beret that belonged to the fifth outfit and placed it over my head. "It's much too long to keep under a cap. Braiding may work."

Her assistant shook his head, pulling out the cloth measuring tape from around his neck. Kero pressed the top of the tape at the base of my neck, while the rest rolled down parallel to my hair. My hair exceeded the length of the tape by at least a foot. "He needs a haircut."

"I didn't agree to anything of the sort."

"Don't be such a girl. You spend too much time grooming yourself. Sakura doesn't even brush her hair every day, let alone twice."

The seamstress turned hairdresser contributed her opinion. "You have the perfect face for any hairstyle. Sakura always keeps her hair short. Touya, Yukito, Eriol, Syaoran… all have short-length hair. It's the latest trend for Spring for men and women. Pixie cuts, bobs, crew-cuts, and angled short layers."

I crossed my arms, unconvinced. "Why do I have to change who I am for anyone?"

"It's just hair. It'll grow back if you don't like how you look," Kero said.

"Why don't you cut your hair then?"

"I don't have any!"

"Okay!" chirped Tomoyo. My brother and I broke our glaring contest to focus on her.

"Tomoyo, you don't have to," Kero pleaded. She had long, dark locks, impeccably groomed and healthy from their roots to the tips which ended at her tiny waistline. My brother was not human, but he was not blind to his friend's loveliness.

"I'll do it, if he agrees to let me cut his."

In three agonizing snips, a long braid of silver hair fell. She had insisted on braiding it beforehand, and then separating it into smaller sections to donate to a local charity which created wigs for children with alopecia. They would be appreciative of my uniquely-colored and the length of my hair, she assured. In the end, the remaining hair on my head retained the same style in the front, with long bangs grazing my eyebrows, but when I reached for the long tail on the back, I found it sheared and ending with the hairline under the nape. Tomoyo's long waist-length tresses were reduced to shoulder-length.

"It's so liberating!" She shook her head, running her fingers through her shorter mane.

Kero poked at the dark braid on the floor. "What will your mom say?"

"I don't know, but I do know that I no longer want to stand in place of a ghost." She turned to me. "How are you doing?"

"It's only hair." Before today, the only person who I allowed to touch mine was Clow Reed. I had only grown it as a child because I admired the length of his, held in a low ponytail. The longer mine grew, the longer he spent brushing it each night. He said once said it was like fine spun silver. Cutting it off was like parting with another ghost in the room.

To my brother, hair was a cumbersome accessory and best left to girls. Light would brush Keroberos in the infrequent evenings when one of the Clow cards was able to capture him. He would whine and pout as his golden fur was trimmed, knots snipped off, and brushed until he was a static ball of fuzz. When the gold was tarnished in misadventures, Bubbles was called in for assistance.

I sat in the chair, looking at my transformation in the mirror. I could pass for human, if my eyes possessed small rounded pupils. Tomoyo bent over as she brushed her hair, to align her face next to mine in the reflection. "Girls do this all the time when they break up. It's so masochistic and exciting! We can always let it grow long again and invite the past back in."

I touch her hair by only following her image across from us. The ends were so sudden, blunt, but her face was still as lovely and porcelain. "It doesn't change the way we feel."

"My mother will still think of her," she said, "and you will still think of that special person. When we insist on holding on, we are hurting the very same people we chose to protect." She put down the brush on the dresser, and addressed my image again, "Do you think Sakura needs to be reminded of how much I resemble her mother every year or how her guardian loves his last master, perhaps even more than her?" My face gave away a hint of surprise at how well I was understood by someone who I gathered to be no more than an overzealous acquaintance to my mistress. She now unraveled before me as a remarkable, layered sprite of a godmother. "Sakura and Kero are my closest friends. It's expected for them to come to me with concerns about the ones they care about the most."

In the far distant part of the room, a projector hummed. On the large lit screen, a shadow play of a winged stuffed animal called over for company. "Are you two still talking about hair? Let's watch the show!"

"In a minute, Kero!" Tomoyo replied. She worked at her sewing machine, making the adjustments to One with an unrivaled skill. I looked through a sketchbook of old designs as she finished and placed them in a zipped garment bag. "That one over there are all of Sakura's cardcaptor suits." I browsed through the pink leather book, thick and filled with so many vibrant and unique designs, I hardly spotted any blank space. Here was the part of her life in which Sakura filled almost entirely.

Kero played a clip of himself and Sakura taking down Time with Syaoran in the personal theater, and I found myself joining in from afar, watching the scenes for the first time.

"She was so small and scared," I said.

"She is the bravest person I know," Tomoyo exclaimed, "and the cutest of course!"

There were two works in progress in her sewing area. A dark green, lacy dress I presumed was for Sakura. A second one meant for a leaner, taller figure caught my eye, for its dark fuchsia shade and distinguishing diurnal insect wing partially constructed in elaborate beadwork on the right hip. "This one is meant for someone else."

"I have my secrets," she said. "You would know about secrets. _Seventeen _to be exact."

As clever as the girl was, I could not pin this on intuition alone. "Kero told you."

"Meiling and I talk over the phone a lot." The smile which rarely left her face, broadened amiably. "Don't worry, I won't tell Sakura. You deserve this opportunity."

"It's not that simple."

"You were there first, as Yukito, who she loved dearly. Who's to say she wasn't drawn to him because of you? I know you care about her, as more than a friend. You watch her the same way I used to years ago. We're not that different." She tilted her head to the side, looking up at me. "Except I learned to let her go."

"Replacing isn't the same as moving on," I said. "Could you be happy with imposters?"

"I can have fun trying." She handed me the wrapped outfit. Instead of spoken gratitude, I wanted to give her something else, something that could not be bought with money.

"You deserved her the most." The truth was a start, threadbare and dull, to her facade, gilded with a metal stronger than silver and gold.

"Thank you," came from her. Her violet eyes dimmed their luminance to a cool amethyst. "She's going to outlive all of us, isn't she? There's going to be many birthdays I'll miss, many dresses I'll never get to make for her." I nodded. "Then, for me, give her a soulmate that never dies."

I never believed in true love. It was falsely everlasting and one-dimensional. Its path was paved with compromises and heartaches. But every word Tomoyo spoke in her name was real and powerful. And I had to ask myself, could I ever love someone enough to let them go completely?

We parted, knowing even the happiest most beautiful, wealthy woman in Tomoeda could still be missing something in her silver-spooned life.

* * *

*From Grimm's fairytale of Cinderella.


	4. Snapshots and Secrets

The tender moments the elder Kinomoto sibling shared with my other self in privacy were just that, _tender_. I was a stranger in my own body, guilty for looking out of his eyes and into Touya's burnt umber-brown eyes, seeing how truly real this was, this… _this was love_.

Love was salvaging a shell of a person, a magical frontage, at the cost of losing sight of his mother's spirit and the ability to hone in on Sakura's aura.

Love was working three part-time jobs as a full-time student to raise the tuition money for himself and his younger sister, refusing to accept any more than the discount provided by his father's tenured position at the university he attended, and where he expected his sister to join within the next year or so.

Love was compromising, never asking more of a half of the person Yukito was, never asking any more of the other part of him. _Of me._

Love was the truth. I never expected faithfulness; monogamy was an atypical phenomenon in human history, an enforced practice revered by marriage and re-written fairytales.

Fairytales, many realized, were once horror stories to fool children into behaving. Sweet Cinderella didn't win her Prince Charming by love at first sight alone. Tricking her just as fair sisters into severing their feet to fit into her glass slipper helped. On her wedding day on which the sisters came to ask for forgiveness and earn her favor after years of cruelty, they were punished by having their eyes pecked out by pigeons.

Red Riding Hood simply took the path not taken before and paused to pick flowers at the fine idea of the wolf, who acted in his nature to skulk around pretty and mouthwatering things. Sometimes the girl was coming into womanhood and he was only a degenerate man. An apologue to utilize euphemism to glide around the darker worlds. Mothers always chided their daughters to mind the stranger, no matter the appearances. Deception, masks, fear, leaving behind the curiosity of childhood to find her way to the old woman, where death knocked on the door with finality, these were the lessons.

Love was _here_. He loved the mask, not the one behind it. Could it be deception, if the mask itself believed so wholeheartedly to be truth?

Its inventor, a mischievous loving sorcerer, knew it revealed the stubborn emotion at the core of the two.

_Two._ Touya and Yukito? Yukito and I? Clow Reed and I?

None of them were right. It was _Yukito and Sakura_. Fate had the final laugh, as the descendant from Clow Reed's mother's side prepared to claim her soon.

The mask loved her in a sense and she loved it truly. But like human nature, love came and went and attached to another. It was filial love, the mask said, the affirmation double-tongued in meaning.

"I love you."

it was clear as the crystalline windowpanes from which I watched, on the outside, pretending to understand the love that bloomed in the glasshouse.

Piecing together from snapshots, another life I owned but could not rule.

.O.

"Yukito!" my mistress greeted him with bubbly energy, which simmered at the sight of her brother, who shouldered his way through to ruffle her hair. "And annoying brother… you should have left him at home, Yuki."

"Monster, that's no way of speaking to family, especially older, _taller, _better looking ones. Not my fault you lost the genetic lottery."

"Gosh, Touya! It's my birthday, can't you at least pretend to be nice to me?" Sakura stuck her tongue out and he picked her up in a big bear hug.

"Happy birthday, baby sister."

"Need I remind you I turned seventeen? I'm practically an adult." Touya placed her back down. "I'm not a baby."

"You sure still whine like one," he responded without a hitch and helped himself to the chips and dip set out for her guests.

She was fuming red, but another embrace surprised her, this one from Yukito. "Happy birthday, Sakura." He let go of her to follow Touya, but turned around as if forgetting something. The sweeter, better half of the lovebirds, embraced her a second time and gave her a gentle peck on top of her head.

_"Hoe?"_

"From my other self," he explained. "Here, this is from _us_." Yukito pulled out a small silver box with black silky ribbon tied in a bow, from his coat pocket, and placed it in her hands. "Please wear them tomorrow. _H__e'll_ be pleased if you do."

Us._ Yukito and…?_

The mask was deceptive, and I was the fool to forget its nature.

.O.

"Oooh, it'll look so good on you!" Nakuru chirped.

Sakura nodded, lifting the dark green dress for everyone to admire Tomoyo's fine work.

"You're so talented," Kaho said to the dark-haired girl who blushed.

Tomoyo replied with lady-like humility, "I'm not that good, really."

Eriol's moon guardian spoke, "But you are, and so sweet of a friend to Sakura. Not even my brother would do anything as remotely nice for me."

Spinel Sun took a breather from his staring contest with a frosted cupcake to look up at the babble of women "oohing" and "aahing" at odd things, while the men crowded around his rival, Keroberos as he intensely played in the living room, in the hub of a tough boss fight.

He walked up to the designer, never once glancing at her creation, but gave her a quick once-over with his emerald-colored eyes. "I hate your hair."

"Suppi!" His sister seized the cat-like guardian and threw him over to the boys, where he crash landed on Keroberos and knocked the game controller out of his paws. "He doesn't mean that, he's just not comfortable with change or festivities. I assure you, you look fabulous!"

The other girls chipped in their agreements and compliments.

"Change is a good thing," Eriol chimed in from the living room, "wouldn't you agree, Yukito?"

"Of course," my guise replied. All the commotion was within earshot now that the pay-per-view quality sun guardian fight that abruptly broke earlier was paused by a referee Touya, who sweat-dropped with the small fighters clenched in separate fists.

"That dress looks like it is meant to be worn for a very special occasion, to leave quite an impression on someone."

"It is!" Tomoyo proclaimed. "The kind of dress that makes you believe in love at first sight."

"Wear some sexy stiletto shoes and a vampy red lipstick," Nakuru said with a playful wink.

Touya groaned from his position between two ticked off stuffed animals. "Don't corrupt her, Akizuki. There's no need to have more perverts lusting after my baby sister. I can't be everywhere at once, you know."

Nakuru cupped her hand to Sakura's ear to whisper something, looking up once to Yukito.

"Hey! What did I tell you?"

"Relax, Touya. It's completely unrelated. A little girl talk, that's all."

The birthday girl's cheeks were glowing pink and she touched her face timidly, aware of her appearance.

"Are you sure I should…?" Sakura murmured.

"Should what?" her brother asked.

"Definitely!"

Nakuru Akizuki and her counterpart Ruby Moon were aggressively affectionate beings and any advice from her would surely beget trouble. Touya feared the wrath of the guardian, for they were both sides to the same lunatic coin.

I did, too.

.O.

**"I don't want to intrude on your dinner. My business can wait."**

"You came here to take her from us, so don't bother with formalities."

**"I-I-I-"**

"Spit it out, kid."

**"I love her."**

"Get in line. There's a waiting list for chumps, and if I may be honest for a moment, you're at the bottom."

_"Touya, don't be so harsh."_

"How old are you?"

**"Twelve."**

"Twelve years old, and he thinks he knows about love."

**"I loved her since we were ten."**

"Oh, that's precious."

_"Touya, if I remember correctly, you were not that much older than this boy here, when you began dating Kaho."_

"That was different, and it didn't work out anyway. Must have been because I was so _young_. I won't have this brat taking her away from me so soon."

_"He's going to tell her someday, whether you're ready or not."_

"Let me make it clear to both of you, I'll never be ready."

**"Do you love Yukito, Touya?"**

"Of course, but it's not my love that's on trial here."

**"And you, Yukito, you love Touya?"**

_"Yes with my whole heart."_

**"How old were you, when you told each other how you felt?"**

_"Seventeen."_

"And this, this is _love_?"

_"Without a doubt."_

"Unquestionably."

**"Five years seems so long."**

"True love takes time."

_"Oh, c'mon, Touya, it doesn't take _that _long."_

"It does when it comes to someone as naïve as my sister."

_"She was ten-and-a-half when she said she loved me."_

"She loved you as much as pancakes and puppies. It's different."

_"She sure loves pancakes, huh?"_

**"I love pancakes, too."**

_"Me, three. I could really go for a stack with maple and berry syrup."_

"Yuki, focus."

"_Sorry! Haven't eaten yet, remember?"_

**"I'm going to marry your sister."**

"What?"

_"Will there be pancakes at the wedding? Tiny ones, hors d'oeuvre on fancy toothpicks… Now that would be fantastic."_

"One of you is going to be responsible for my impending heart attack."

**"Ready or not…"**

.O.

The woman's skin was pale, not as light as milk but close enough to make me wonder if she was alive. Her long, straight hair was the darkest black I'd ever seen, and it moved in soft waves on her sides and behind her, while the burgundy robes swished quietly. White legs peeked from slits on either side, and she exposed generous cleavage so casually. She knew how alluring she looked. The fire-red eyes burned wickedly around, searching for someone.

"Clow?" she asked.

But it was only me in the room, sitting in his chair, cloaked by the darkness of my favorite Card. "You know it's not him, Dimensional Witch. No need to assume stupidity. I'm not a child."

She laughed heartily. "Oh, aren't you so cute?"

"So what do you want to talk about? I don't have anything to give, so don't expect any deals."

"Don't be so presumptuous, Yue. I'm more than a magical shopkeeper. For example, I'm also your master's lover." She edged herself on the armchair, draping her own arm over the chairs back. Her dead fingers played with my hair. This close, I could smell her smoky but pleasant scent. "And you're wrong. You have a lot to give. You've wasted much of it on him as it is. Instead, you could trade it to me, for something worthy of your investment."

"And what would that be?"

"The love you have for your master, it's like a leash you can't sever. I can give you an escape - an other life for you to live free, never knowing him, never knowing this world existed. You will find love in another life, true reciprocated, requited love. Someone who would die for you."

I was young but I understood more than human children of my age. "You're just trying to get rid of me so you can have him all to yourself!"

"I don't need trickery for that, moon guardian. I already have his heart. I am looking out for yours. You and I have an understanding of the man we both love dearly. You know he will never love you the way you want to be loved. You are his creation and as such, he'll always see you and your brother as his children. You may never see me as your mother, but please know that I, too, care for you."

"The Modoka Modoki," I said, "Are they yours, his, or both?"

"Larg and Soel were made with our combined sorcery. However, they are under my ownership and I have no reason nor intentions to permanently part with my new children." The rabbit-like creatures chased each other around Clow Reed's chair. The black one had a round sapphire on his forehead and the white one a ruby on his, and each had a ring on an ear with a smaller matching stone.

"Yūko Ichihara, are you planning on wedding our creator?"

She laughed again. "Does it scare you - the thought of us being one mystical little family for all eternity?"

"It is a very long time, and I have one sibling too many as it is, so you'll understand my concerns."

The white rabbit hopped up the bare armchair. "She will be very pretty, and the payment for her feathers will leave her all for you, big brother!"

"April Fools is a fine day for drinking sake. My little earring holds a lot of secrets," the black twin said, looking up near my feet as it was the most ordinary thing to say aloud.

"Can you three be any more cryptic?"

"The key to heaven." Yūko presented him her hand. "At a bargain of a two-for-one special. You can surely afford this, Yue."

"I'm not certain what I'm buying, witch."

Her cold grip on my face, forced me to meet her scarlet eyes. "Stock in the future, with a big romantic payoff, and everything else aforementioned today."

"What am I losing?"

"Something your other self will never miss." The duplicity went missed completely. Doubts still remained.

"Nothing so abstract is worth any measurable loss." Love or life. Could one exist without the other?

As if she heard my thoughts, the woman answered, "They might as well be synonyms. Ask anyone who's nursed a broken heart, and they'll say death is a benevolent escape. The risks, the interests, love. This is what makes it all divine."

I shook her hand.

.O.

Mirrors were strange silver looking-glass panes. They reflected light perfectly, and centuries ago, my vermeil one graced me nightly with my own face upon it. It was a face meant to look at, my old master and his witch lover said. This was the face that broke their engagement, so it must have been quite a visage. It wasn't the obvious dissolution – infidelity – not solely, but the deal she made without his knowledge that killed her figuratively.

In present times, the simple mass-manufactured pane in his bedroom performed its function competently during the quick glances he gave it, in which he never allowed himself to fully look at the reflection.

In the mirror, where nobody looked, I spoke to him, "You can't avoid me. I'm always here."

"Sometimes you sleep and it's like I'm really alone," he said cheerfully. "I take it you were wide awake earlier?"

"Hm. Are you taking my side or his?"

My other self gave an answer, enigmatic and laced with multiple interpretations. "I'm on the winning side, Yue."

* * *

**A/N:** This was the product of calling in sick to work today after having car troubles. This has gotten darker than when it started, but I try to keep it whimsical as possible. Yes, I totally made super obvious references to Tsubasa RC. One more chapter and I'm done :)


	5. Doubts and Dates

Choosing a restaurant was a task I severely underestimated. I knew nothing of food. Her starlight provided all the energy my being needed, filling me more and more in the passing years as her power grew with her. My other self, on the other hand, took pleasure in human necessities, and food, was at the top of those interests. Only problem was he loved everything indiscriminately and was thus incapable of narrowing down on anything for my sake. Keroberos' suggestions were biased by his own palate, favoring sweets and fried dishes served by small shops or street vendors. As the closest ally to our mistress, he failed in recollecting any of her favorite types of foods. The Daidouji girl proved herself to be immensely resourceful when it came to Sakura. "_Noodles with shrimp or any other seafood_," she said. "_It would be so sweet if you would make her dinner for her birthday instead of taking her out."_

I would subject myself to the challenge again at Sakura's request only, for birthdays were the one day the mistress could compel her guardians into behaving well (Keroberos) or doing anything out of the ordinary (myself). Thankfully, she had not. In only a day, I'd become almost someone else entirely for a sorceress who never voiced any misgivings with my previous persona. I was certain she loved us in however form we were as she had in the years we've shared as a group. Makeovers, dates, gifts, cooking… they were unnecessary acts of kindness from someone in her life who'd never understood their short- or long-term purpose.

Hours later, I found a small restaurant specializing in gourmet noodles and because it had only opened weeks ago, the place would not attract crowds of Tomoeda citizens. In my borrowed clothes and changed appearance, I would pass for human, but it did not change my dislike for enclosed public spaces with strangers. The local review Yukito found in the paper regarded it as a hidden gem whose international cuisine would please noodle-lovers and new noddle-eaters of all types. At his insistence, I settled for the quaint little noodle bistro, seeming to provide the right, alternative ambiance for our meeting.

_"You're planning on bringing me some take-out, right? It's not like you're gonna eat your plate anyway, so put it in a doggie bag and bring it back."_ My brother was the least helpful individual in this entire ordeal. "_By the way, it's ten to eight. You should have picked her up twenty minutes ago. She's been waiting by the porch since seven. Don't yell at me! Well, you didn't ask. I was busy... and –"_ Click.

...O...

Yukito did not permit me to fly over to meet her. If I was to take the traditional route of dating, I'd have to properly pick her up in a timely manner and follow all the gentleman chivalry deeds girls anticipated. Since I already missed the fashionably late window of our first non-date, I was being chaperoned by my other self, who drove us to the Kinomoto house.

It was a quarter past eight, and Keroberos had joined our mistress on the porch steps, waiting impatiently for the both of them. If she was bothered by my tardiness, she hid it well. The wide grin on her face showed only cheerfulness and I inwardly reciprocated the expression.

Yukito stepped out of the car to greet my mistress and brother.

"About time you showed up!" Kero exclaimed. "I was _this _close to taking her out myself. I would have guaranteed a good time."

"Don't mind him," Sakura said. "Besides he only offered to take me to the arcades and I'm a bit overdressed for playing video games."

She wore the lace green dress Tomoyo made for her, which fit her body perfectly. They weren't the frilly and fantastical creations in her sketchbooks, cartoonish at best. Their semblance to the desserts and stuffed animals of her childhood could not be overlooked. The green dress she wore instead was shorter than any school uniform skirt, fitted closely to highlight her athletic body. Afternoons in cheerleading practice and other sports, combined with roller-blading, were evidenced in her sun-kissed, tanned skin. High-heels lengthened her lithe, shapely legs, and though she nearly matched me in height in them, I enjoyed watching her take the small, shaky steps in them, not yet conquering the extra four inches on her stature. She had gone through as much in preparations for our evening together as I had. A shade of a red only Nakuru would know the proper name of stained her smile, crimsoning her cupid's bow and full lips. The green of the dress was close to the shade of her eyes, bringing out their beauty. The lace pattern on it, as it turned out, was an unimportant detail.

My other self played his part well, saving face for the both of us. "It's all my fault, I had to finish up another paper by tonight, but I brought him safe and sound and at the very least, I'll take you both to dinner and home after."

Kero encircled Yukito. "Come out, Yue, we want to see you now."

Wings wrapped around Yukito and faded off to leave me in his place, wearing the blue ensemble from Tomoyo's collection and borrowed shoes from my other self's closet. My brother whistled his approval.

"You clean up well," he remarked.

To my mortification, my mistress also wolf-whistled. "You look so, so… _good!_"

"Look, look, he's blushing!"

"I'm not," I claimed with arms crossed over my chest, vexed at the attention. My mistress tip-toed around me, analyzing my personal transformation with amusement.

"You know, you're not supposed to upstage your date, especially on the first night out," she said, her smile growing bigger with each second. "This is Tomoyo's doing, isn't it?"

Kero answered for me. "He gave us such a hard time over his hair. Hair! Of all the things in the world to worry about…"

"Kero-chan," Sakura said in the sweetest tone she could produce, "you can go back to watching that zombie movie marathon."

"Oh, right! Don't forget, you promised me a bowl of noodles. I want octopus in mine, ooh and double on the egg." Our mistress nodded and waved him away. He looked down from the window once more to give us an intimidating glance. "Don't forget, or don't come home tonight!" Kero looked to me and without hesitancy followed with, "Unless something keeps you both out long… good conversations and whatever depravity involving teenagers and abstinent guardians, I can take my noodles in the morning."

My mistress gulped. "I won't, I promise." He disappeared into the room, neither one of us missing the suggestive wink or the puckered up mouth in an exaggerated kiss he gave to the doll whose likeness to Sakura was unmistakable.

One of us was going to kill him before this night ended.

She giggled nervously, her hand raised to her cheek to hide the redness there of her embarrassment, and to push strands of her auburn hair to shield herself. This was when I noticed a small twinkling of silver and jade.

I reached to touch one of the silver combs paired in her hair. Each comb was fine sterling silver, crafted in the shape of feathers, peacock to be exact. They did not possess the multi-colored feature of the real thing, but in place of the purple eyespot, a jade crescent moon stood.

"I love them," she said, "Now I have a reason for growing my hair out and tending to it."

"I'm glad to hear," I replied. "I was a day short of brushing your hair in your sleep." My hands were on her auburn head, adjusting each comb on either side her face, so that the hair was pinned away from it. "Please don't hide your face from me."

Sakura smiled and blushed again. "You make me feel so little."

"You are only seventeen to my hundreds of years. You are little to me. A good little seventeen, albeit, with many years ahead to grow lovelier."

Her hands found their way around my neck, her body pressing against mine. It was a nice feeling, to be held close as only myself.

This was _living_.

...O...

"Welcome to Ribbons Bistro, home to over fifty varieties of noodles and pastas." The phrase was said in a rehearsed but pleasant manner by the overenthusiastic hostess, a petite red-haired young woman who wouldn't mind her own business. "You're so absolutely cute together! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume you were a couple, but you two really are aesthetically pleasing as a pair. I bet if you made babies, they'd look like perfect little Gerber models. Oh, I know, I know. Why don't I just shut up and show you to your table?"

She initially meant to seat us close to the entrance but I refused the table, sensing the eyes of a particular brunette at a nearby table, and requested one further away, on a tucked away in a corner where privacy was conceivable.

Our talkative hostess, 'Tracy,' brought us menus and left us alone for a moment. Sakura grinned at me from across the table. "I'm surprised you'd pick a restaurant for a date, considering the only time I'd seen you eat was a piece of pancake yesterday, which I practically shoved down your throat."

"I haven't forgotten that or what you did to convince me to make them for you. Here, we can blame someone else for the bad cooking." I opened my menu, pretending to be interested in its offerings. Her gaze hadn't broken away and her menu was untouched. "You're enjoying calling this a 'date.'"

"Isn't it, though?"

I placed the menu down. "You look nice."

"Thanks." Sakura's lips parted. I wondered if red lipstick's purpose was for transfixing the other person on the wearer's mouth. Red was a very powerful color, violent and passionate together. The lips enunciated a syllable,"Yue?"

"Hmm…?"

"I like being around you."

"Do you know what you're ordering?"

"I need to tell you something. I've been wanting to say it for a while but it's hard when we're never alone. I keep dropping hints to Kero, but he just ignores me and keeps on playing…"

"Sorry for the delay, I'm the only waiter working tonight-" the man was fixated on his notepad and the tray of iced waters to notice who we were.

"Touya," Sakura muttered.

"Should I be surprised?" I asked.

"That Yukito would send you where I could keep an eye on both of you? No." He put down our glasses of water. "You're late, by the way… and overdressed."

"How long have you been working here?" My date pursed her lips.

"I started two days ago." He pulled away the menus. "You're not going to need these. I'll bring you something you'll like."

"Bring me the same," I said. Touya's nodded, without questioning my impulsive appetite for anything. He excused himself, and Sakura and I were left to ourselves again.

"About?" I asked her, breaking the passing silence between us.

"I thought you weren't paying attention to me before, you seemed distracted." She took a sip of water, buying some time to contemplate before speaking again. Fingertips rapped the clothed tabletop to make drumming sounds, likely synchronizing with her heart's fast thudding. "Have you ever had feelings for more than one person? Like they are balanced in different ways."

Whether I was ready or not, the question had arrived. I was expected by all involved in this torment to respond with honesty, to share my own take of love and her place in it. I loved her, that was true, but I wasn't who she needed now. There was much of her world she hadn't lived through yet. Too early for her to decide this was love. "One always weighs out in the end. You have to decide for yourself, who you love with your entire heart."

"The only certainty I've known of love outside of my father and brother, is Tomoyo, Kero-chan, and… and…_Shaoran_?" Behind me, our hostess had returned with the third guest. The Chinese boy stood before us, holding a bouquet of spring flowers; among them the pinks of cherry blossoms and azaleas, blues of glories of the snow and irises, and oranges of tiger lilies. A few pale lilies of the valleys peeked from the colorful assortment, fitting for the happiness they brought along with them, returning the boy to Tomoeda a day later than I estimated.

"I found him outside, like a lost puppy trying to find this address. It's almost as if someone didn't want him finding his way here," the hostess teased.

"Sakura." Syaoran welcomed her into his arms. "I'm sorry I'm late."

I stood to clarify my role in their long-awaited reunion. "This is my real gift to you. Happy birthday, Mistress."

I can't say it was always meant to be _him_, but for the time being, he was exactly who she needed. She, in turn, was who he would love for the rest of his life; however short it may turn out to be in comparison to ours.

Before I excused myself, Sakura caught me in a hug. She kissed my jawline, and said two words, only audible between us.

...O...

I pulled out Yukito's cellphone, a simple flip phone with touch-key pad, and searched for the name in his short address book. It was three lines above 'Sakura,' four above 'Syaoran's.' I hit 'call.'

_"Hello?"_ the female voice answered in only half a ring. The woman was desperately in need of company.

"Are you busy?"

An audible scoff. _"What do you think?"_

"Would you like to have dinner with me?"

_"I don't want your pity."_

"I'll pay, or rather Yukito will."

_"Sit down." _I turned the corner, and Nakuru shut her phone case close. Her table was vacant, save for a partially-filled glass of water, whose ice cubes had long melted in her time sitting here, and a book stationed in front of her instead of food. She had pretended to read when we passed by earlier, hiding her inquisitive face behind a romance novel.

I took the empty seat, noting the second set of utensils set out. "Call over your imaginary boyfriend and order yourself something."

"I told her to use tongue," she said, taking her napkin to wipe the telling red that stained my jaw. She placed my hand over her bare thigh. "I'm not putting out, so enjoy this as much as you can."

"Good, I won't waste my time trying then," I said pulling my hand away. "I have another prospect, anyhow."

"Oh, _really_? As if you could any better than a state-of-the-art moon guardian."

"How about a millionaire's daughter?"

Nakuru snorted. "Please, as if you stood a chance." Crossing her legs, she adjusted the thin straps on her bright fuchsia dress. The beading on the hip was finalized, revealing a detailed butterfly wing. "This was hand-sewn lovingly by your prospect's hands." Her manicured fingernails traced the wing. "Which I kissed along with the rest of her last night. And yes, she's as lovely underneath all those clothes."

"I look forward to finding out for myself." I was guilty for enjoying my tormenting the closest thing to an antagonist I had in Tomoeda.

"You'll always be second, Yue. To Sakura, Touya, and even your 'prospect.'"

"And what about to _you?"_

"Second place. I'm far prettier and have more personality in my lacquered nail-tip than you do in your entire half-existence."

I could have countered with snide remarks about her self-proclaimed alleged superiority. I went with reverse psychology: I grabbed my adversary's face and kissed her.

"Thank God!" Touya roared, appearing before us with a pitcher of water. "Dinner's on me. This one's a keeper, Yue. No returns or exchanges. If you are not satisfied with your date, you can leave her at the bar two blocks from here. Plenty of schmucks there to appreciate donations."

"Assholes!" Nakuru stormed off, knocking her glass of water over the white table cloth and her chair in the process.

"She'll be back. The exit's in the other direction." Touya placed the chair back on its feet and gave me a stern look. "While I am eternally grateful to your sudden, odd interest in Akizuki, I have to ask - why not my sister?"

"She's too good for me."

"True." Picking up the overturned glass, Touya said, "But in my eyes, she's too good for anybody." He looked to the section of the restaurant where I'd previously sat, disturbed by his view. "I'll be right back, a certain brat is getting too handsy with my baby sister." He asked me, "How would you two like to join that lovely young couple over there?"

"We're good, lover," Nakuru cooed, returning to her seat. "Get me your most _expensive_ bottle of wine."

"Fine." Touya left, making his first stop before reaching the kitchen at a certain table.

At ours, Nakuru ignored me for a good half-minute before acknowledging my presence again. "I loathe you."

"You're a bad liar."

"Then I only mildy dislike you on most occasions." She played with a side braid, twisting it around a finger, and then jumped out her chair. "I'm bored." Offering me the crook of her arm, she beamed. "Let's fly around and be gorgeous together."

I rose from my seat to accept her arm in mine. In passing, she took the wine bottle from Touya and I tossed him Yukito's car keys.

Also in passing, Sakura's jade eyes met mine, and she gave a small wave. Light played on the silver in her hair.

I was not ready to say good-bye yet. I simply allowed myself to enjoy a much needed sabbatical.

No matter the years that passed or people that came between us, I would always be hers.

Her alternate, to step in when her heart breaks for him.

If ever.

* * *

_"And you."_

* * *

**A/N**: Yay, I finished my first multi-chaptered fanfic!


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